Christians are straight up FREAKS
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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