She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
