so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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