I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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