The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
