CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize