Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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