at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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