And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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