fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?