If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i out mim tonsoeep
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