I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
