Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
