loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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