I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
