She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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