Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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