Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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