why didn't you poke me back
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
