he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
