i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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