Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
