She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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