It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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