but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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