I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
