You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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