The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
