it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
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Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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