real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
