It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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