I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
