We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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