Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
