i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
