I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
