yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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