she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
