you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
