Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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