I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
