i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
