Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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