His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
