What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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