Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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