C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
