he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
