It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
