They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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