You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize