turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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