My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
