I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
